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published Tuesday, November 15th - 9:10am

What it's like to be a MN sports fan

Two weeks ago today I welcomed my first child into the world, a son named William.

There comes a point in every father's life where you are going to have to sit down look his son in the eye and have the talk.

The talk that every father dreads because there will be confusion. There will be a sense of uncomfort. There will be tears.

The day that you have to tell your son what it's like to be a Minnesota sports fan.

Last night my son experienced his first Vikings game a 45-7 drubbing to the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field.

So son here you go:

The Gophers - Football is as bad as it has ever been which is quite an accomplishment since they have not won anything of significance in 50 years. Basketball surprises us once in a while but the last time they went to the final four they apparently didn't go to the final four because they didn't do their own homework. Hockey won back to back national championships ten years ago which is also the last time that anyone really cared about the program.

The Timberwolves - They had a decent run for a few years at the turn of the century but have been dreadful for the majority of their 20 years in existence. The good news is there won't even be a season this year so that's a plus.

The Wild - We used to have a hockey team called the North Stars. They left in 1993 when they moved to Dallas. Yeah I know it's weird that the state of hockey (which we are referred to) lost their team to Texas but soon all of this will just make sense.

The Twins - The just finished their second season in their beautiful new home called Target Field. Season two didn't go so well with 99 losses and one of the worst seasons in franchise history. They have had a lot of recent success, the only problem is that we have never been able to get past the New York Yankees, or the Oakland Athletics, Anaheim Angels, and a few more teams that I may even be forgetting about. They did however win the last World Championship in this city. (Outside of the Lynx which just happened a few months ago but I can't count that as I have never watched more than six minutes of Lynx basketball) The championships happened over twenty years ago and brought a lot excitement to this town.

The Vikings - Well where do I begin?

Son this is the team that will break your heart over and over again. This is the girl that will keep calling you and sending you a text to let you know that she loves you, only to follow that with a photo of herself sleeping with your best friend.
Don't get me wrong, we have to watch. Week after week we devote our Sunday and the occasional Monday night to see what's next. To see what could possibly be the next chapter in this romantic comedy.

I have been alive for four of the Vikings NFC championship games. They can be summed up like this:
2009 - This team featured Brett Favre who we used to hate but loved for one year. He led the team to a great regular season, then threw an interception when the team was on the brink of winning the game.
2000 - Randy Moss was the star player on this team and was more interested in getting his buddies on the field than he was in any type of effort for the game.
1998 - I hate going here because I don't want to cry in front of you just yet. This is the toughest loss in the history of Minnesota sports. It's also a game I will make you watch one day when you can understand it better. I only do it because I love you.
1988 - This team featured a group of over-achievers who won two consecutive playoff games on the road. (Yes they do allow that) Then fell short on a fourth down play with a pass in the end zone that would have tied the game.

Son I love you but I am afraid that I have sentenced you to a life of this. Grandpa tells me that there was a time when the Vikings even made it to the Super Bowl.

Not sure if I even believe him